"2007: A new year, A new start"
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
2:16 a.m.
Time is a
changing force that often requires a person to return to square one so that
they might remember the lessons of the past. Although I have not fallen to such
levels, I have been forced to recollect a time when writing made a major impact
on my life. It was through writing that I learned to channel and examine my
frustration and pain without allowing it to build and become an explosive
emotional volcano. Thus making me a much calmer person who was more capible of
handeling the hardships that life threw my way.
After
realizing my need to write, there was but one thing to do and that was to
return to my home away from home the place where I hide six years of thoughts
and emotions; my diary. Therefore, I am here and I plan to start a new.
Starting new
means exactly that. It means that I'm not going to try to fill in the gaps, I'm
going to write what I feel as I feel it. I'm going to post what I feel like
posting. I may post an article and then post my feelings about that article. I
may post something I wrote for a class. I may write about my day. I may write
about my family. What ever I write it will be about me and something that is
important to me after all that is what a diary is suppose to be... Right?
So... Hello
AGAIN... Formy old readers you knew me as Blazing Angel or Ladi Shadow... For
my new readers... My real name is Jesilyn... And I am happy to meet you!
"About Me" (This was a Class
Assignment)
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
2:31 a.m.
Introduction
My name is
Jessica Lynn Tolson-Montgomery. My peers know me as Jesilyn. I’m a thirty-four
year old, Bi-sexual, polygamous, ordained “Pagan” minister, childhood
(physical, emotional, sexual) abuse survivor, and single mother who resides
with my three children (Elizabeth age 9, Karin age 11, and Dylan age 14). I
also have one grown daughter (Starla, age 17). At this time, my family and I
live in a singlewide, two-bedroom trailer, in the small town of Graysville,
Ohio. Where I am currently unemployed and focusing my attention on earning a
bachelors degree specializing in Psychology, from City University. This will
not end my educational journey because after achieving my bachelors I will
begin my Master’s program. However, once I achieve my Master’s Degree, my focus
will shift towards gaining a career in the Federal Prison System as a Criminal
Psychologist. This is where I hope to incorporate experience, and survivor’s
compassion to assist others to gain the tools they need to not only survive but
also thrive in the same world that harmed us.
(On the
following pages, I will provide a shortened version of my own life story,
numerically attach citation to certain events throughout the text and record
it’s orientation on a separate page for easy reference. By the end of this
document, it should be concluded that I could not only understand the
developmental theories but also apply several of which to real life
situations.)
“The Past”
I was born
on Feb. 9th, 1973, in Middletown, Ohio. My father Jeffery Harmon Tolson Jr. was
born July 29, 1956, and my mother Karin Peggy Smith was born Aug. 3rd, 1957.
[1]At fifteen and sixteen years old, mere children, these two individuals not
only conceived a child, but got married, and attempted to become adults. Their
marriage did not last, and when they divorced I went to live with my great
grand parents Rose and Laxton McIntyre.
Being
wealthy people, with many powerful friends gave them a secret power in our
community. I remember growing up the first seven years of my life as a
functional child who got everything I needed. Everything that is, except true
love from my parents and family. I became a pawn, a bargaining tool, and used
to cause my parents pain. On visitation days Rose would make promises of great
presents and adventures that she planned if I stayed home. These torturous
events would normally leave me in tears making visitation a very chaotic time.
I would however calm down and begin enjoying things until it was time to return
home and the chaos would begin all over again.
At seven I
went to live with my mother. After a brief phone conversation, where I
overheard Laxton tell my mother that he could no longer handle the little bitch
(me) to come get her (me) now! I realized at that time, just how cold my family
could be. Shortly after the move Rose died and happiness over came my life.
However, these years of happiness would soon be scarred by events beyond my
control.
I cannot
tell you when the abuse actually began; all I know is that I was nine. I don't
remember the first touch; I simply know that I got really good at hiding my
pain. I like to say that I “somehow” mastered the art of [2]disassociation. I
desperately wanted to be saved. But how could I tell, who would listen, and
would they believe me? After all, this was the family that I had always wanted.
Leaving me to wonder; how could a stepfather that I had loved so much do this,
and to me of all people?
Three years
passed before my mother found out about the abusive situation. After which, we
went to visit our former minister and that's when things got worse. My mother
told him what had been going on, he informed her of his obligation to report
all events of child abuse. Out of respect he gave her a couple hours to call
and report the issue herself. He felt she would look better if she personally
made the report. Otherwise they may take me from her and neither of us wanted
that. This is how Butler County Department of Children’s Services and the court
system became involved in my life.
The word
chaos can be used to describe the next two years as I was forced into
counseling, and to tell every heart breaking detail over and over again. At one
point, my original counselor Dr. Ronald Scott decided the effects of the abuse
were limited and that despite the events I would live a productive life with
little to no repercussions. He in return dropped us from his care and told the
courts that further counseling was no longer necessary. Instead of taking his
professional advice, they forced me into a new program, in an office where the
workers were aged, irate, and difficult to associate with. My counselor not
only placed blame on my mother and my father, but in ways I think she placed
blame on me. Needless to say, our meetings did absolutely nothing for my mental
statue. Over all, the experience could be described, as an emotional rape that
left permanent scars that far surpassed any trauma left by the abuse it’s self.
Only after months of continual heartache did my father secretly move me out of
state, away from the constant disturbances that I still to this day feel would
have eventually destroyed me.
During the
process of our state-to-state journey, my father allowed me to run my own life.
He treated me like an adult. Drugs were fine; alcohol was fine, even sex was
fine. Sadly, when we left I was unaware that I was about 2-3 wks pregnant with
the child of my then teen-age lover (Russell, age 14). Due to sexual abuse, and
my age at conception, my body was not ready to except the terms of a pregnancy.
Because of this, I lost my first son to spontaneous abortion (better known as
miscarriage). This event went unknown as well as untreated (until 1988, when I
lost my second son).
The next
stage of my life left me feeling more a victim than I had ever known. David (my
step-father) had not been my “real” father so I easily marked him off as a
deviant and had not allowed him to spoil my self-esteem or future. But now I
was being faced with an even worse issue. MY FATHER... Each episode would begin
the same way. My father, a practicing “Satanic,” warlock would chant scriptures
from the Satanic Bible and force me into incestuous activities. [3]With the
experience of my past, never in a million years would I have reported the
abuse; especially after what happen the last time. So I pulled myself up by my
bootstraps and decided that something somewhere had to change. I had been the
toy of two significant males in my life and it was time that I got passed
this... [4]My safety was clearly in my own hands.
In September
1987, at the age of fourteen, with my father’s permission, I married my 1st
husband, John. After which, my father returned us to Butler County where I
again became the victim of the state. I was immediately removed from my marital
relationship, placed in juvenile hall, where I spent seven days to assure that
I would not escape. Obviously they couldn’t keep me isolated in the justice
system long, so the courts placed me in a private mental hospital. The idea was
to evaluate me and use any information possible to restore my childhood. Of
course, this process failed and initiated another placement; a foster home. I
fled from this home after only six months and became a runaway.
Between 1988
and 1990 as a married woman/child on the run, I traveled state-to-state via
truck with various drivers and was accompanied by my eldest daughter’s father
(Donnie, age 17). This behavior continued through one pregnancy/miscarriage,
and into a second pregnancy until I was six months along. At this time we
settled down, I earned my GED, (on my own, with no more than a sixth grade
education) and delivered my first daughter. This was the turning point of my
life.
[5]My
identity was changing I was a mother and a young one at that. I knew it wasn't
going to be easy but I was destined to do everything I could. I left Starla’s
alcoholic, abusive father who later died in prison and returned to Butler
County to seek assistance and support from my closest friends and with any
hope, my mother. Starla and I moved into our own apartment and I became engaged
in a new relationship.
I married my
2nd husband, Roger in 1991, did manage to repair my relationship with my mother
before she was murdered July 4, 1992, and then gave birth to my son two months
later. The stress was so heavy that it collapsed my marriage, after which, I
returned to my 1st husband, and remarried him in 1994. If I had only known…
But, as always, the new relationship brought gratification. We worked outside
the home, managed the bills and functioned within the household with my
children. Things were good. The only thing left was to have a baby of our own
and after three years of continual attempts, we finally produced a daughter and
six months later became pregnant with a second. On the other hand, this didn’t
change the absolute decline of the relationship. By this time, John’s drinking
had worsened, arguments soared, emotions raged, and escape became my primary
focus. I knew what I had to do; however, the relationship would take another
three years to end.
Being alone
with four children, no job, and nowhere to turn tends to do something to a
woman. Therefore, this began another stage of my life. This is when I decided
to focus on my children and myself. (Sure, there were other men. I did not feel
the need to live a celibate life. But, over all, none of them could fill the
void within me.) [6]After a while, I began looking over past, sorting out the
details, and trying to make sense of it all. Basically, I concluded that before
age thirty, I had been married three times, divorced three times, birthed four
children and been abused more times than could be counted. Yet, somehow, I had
managed to get to where I was. This told me something. It told me that I was a
survivor. It told me that I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. It told
me that despite the challenges, I couldn’t give up. This self-evaluation
allowed me to embark on a personal, spiritual journey that lasted almost two
years and taught me not only who I wanted to be, but what I wanted to do with
my life.
[7]In 2002,
I moved my children to Seattle Washington, spent a year getting on our feet,
and then allowed education to re-enter my life. August 2003 began my quest for
knowledge, and my first quarter at Highline Community College in Des Moines,
Washington. At first the atmosphere was intimidating. I isolated myself in my
studies, allowing very few to get close. Then one day, out of nowhere, with the
support of my instructors, I became involved in various leadership
opportunities. Who would have known that this experience would create such
confusion? On one hand I was a low-income, single mom who barely made it
day-to-day, week-to-week and month-to-month. On the other hand, I was working
closely with some of the highest regarded individuals on campus. It was a
battle of the selves. Inside I knew I wasn’t what I was. I knew with hard work
and dedication I could achieve greater success. But reality said that under
normal terms, these people wouldn’t even look at me. I became afraid. Afraid
that I would somehow forget where I came from, forget who I was, lose humanity
so to speak and for a while, I found myself drifting away from the very thing I
needed most; a stable support system that would ensure the success of my
future.
As time
passed, I began to feel more comfortable. The more comfortable I felt the more
involved I became. I don’t think I had ever felt so sure of anything in my
life. As I left Highline, and moved on to Central Washington University, I
believed nothing could ever change my path. Of course, everything in life is
subject to change and my life was about to take a plunge.
August 2005
set events in motion that would take almost two years to regain control of.
1st, my fiancé called off our relationship in August. Then in September, my
eldest daughter (then 15 yrs old) not only assaulted me, but also informed me
that she was pregnant by her then 23-year-old boyfriend. Of course, October was
spent attempting to get her under control and by November, I was well on my way
to a nervous breakdown. So, I quit school, packed our belongings, and moved
myself along with four children, and two cats 3000 miles home to family, which
only made things worse.
In the end,
Starla finished her education, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on May 1,
2006, and made my life a living hell[8] until I gave in and signed her marriage
license. In return, under extreme mental anguish, [9]I boycotted the wedding,
grew even more depressed, and moved away in order to protect myself and my
other children.
“Present”
Months later,
I’m living in Ohio. Starla on the other hand, is pregnant again and living with
her husband and my granddaughter in Washington. We talk now and then, but the
bond has become so distant in nature that it causes continual anxiety. I find
myself trying to stay busy in hopes to divert my anguish. Obviously, My first
experience towards empty nest has taken a toll beyond anything I ever imagined.
On a
positive note, my life and that of my other three children has changed for the
better. Country living has forced them to spend quality time together and
forced me to spend more time with them as well. They are engaging in sports and
cheerleading, we’ve grown a house full of animals, and begun to re-understand
the meaning of responsibility, respect, and commitment. Not to mention the
effects of the past seem to be fading away as each come of us come into our
own. Some of us (me) just seem to require more time to work through the grief
process.
“Future; A
Theoretical Prediction”
As the
theories of Freud played out, so does the days my life (Boeree, 2006). On one
hand, the past controls my thinking, the voices of my abusers, the struggles,
and my current symptoms of depression, allow my pessimistic side to doubt that
positive events reside in my future. [10]On the other hand, reactance to these
same issues continues to form, granting me the motivation to move forward with
the same determination as always. Over all, this is an internal battle between
conscious and unconscious motivations. (In one sense I know and can manage my
problems; in another, some roots are yet buried under years of hardships and
self-made barriers that need to be discovered. Unfortunately, this battle
within will likely continue until such time as “I feel” I have achieved
success.
Just what does
success mean to me? By looking at Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory
(Personality, unknown) along with his Redefinition of
Self-Actualization(Toward, 1968), I can describe my personal definition of
success in psychological terms. This definition meets the typical guidelines by
covering Physiological, Safety, Belongingness and Love, and Esteem Needs; along
with Self-Actualization such as written in the original theory. It also
recognizes that self-actualization is more of a mode in which a person lives; a
phase so to speak, where the person feels the utmost comfort, support and
happiness; such as in the modified version. It is my opinion, by achieving my
career goals; I will also gain a satisfactory income, supporting associates,
and eliminate my fears that are associated with previous hardships and lack of
basic humanistic needs. This along with a satisfactory set of interpersonal
relationships including those with my children, grandchildren and at least one
of physical intimacy, will create the needed support system to stabilize my
self-esteem and therefore complete (If only temporarily) my goal of
Self-Actualization.
Of course,
life has taught me pessimism that can be explained with Erik Erickson’s
Psychosocial Theory (Clifton, 1995). This theory suggests that individuals face
stages as they mature. It predicts that once an individual reaches senior
status that they begin to reflect on their lives. This reflection will either
create a vision of integrity or that of despair. In my case, if I successfully
reach Maslow’s self-actualized stage then I will be able to reflect upon my
past with integrity. However, if for some reason, I do not reach such
satisfactory results then I may be faced with despair. Obviously, Despair would
consist of negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It would be seen, as a
personal failure, which is something my ego, is not prepared to accept at this
time.
References
Boeree, C.
George (2006). Sigmund Freud 1856-1939 retrieved Jan 20, 2007
From the
Personality Theories Website:
http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/freud.html
Clifton A,
David D. (1995). Psychosocial Theory: Erickson Retrieved Jan 20, 2007
From
Haverford.edu Site:
http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/erikson.stages.html
Personality
and Consciousness (material from Motivation and Personality - MP)
Maslow's
Holistic Dynamic Needs Hierarchy. Retrieved on Jan 20, 2007
From The
Personality and Consciousness Website:
http://pandc.ca/?cat=abraham_maslow&page=needs_hierarchy
Toward a
Psychology of Being (1968). Redefinition of Self Actualization
Retrieved on
Jan 20, 2007 From The Personality and Consciousness Website:
http://pandc.ca/?cat=abraham_maslow&page=episodic_self_actualization
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Week 5:
Parents, who in retirement, raise their children’s children.
[2]
Disassociation: Drifting off into thy own imagination to a safe place away from
the current situation. This is very similar to Sigmund Freud’s Denial (Boeree,
2006)
[3] This is
an example of Sigmund Freud’s explanation of Realistic Anxiety (Boeree, 2006)
[4] Sigmund
Freud’s reality principle at work. (Boeree, 2006)
[5] An
example of Maslow’s self-actualization theory
[6] This is
another example of Maslow’s Self Actualization Theory. However according to
Erik Erickson’s Psychosocial Theory, if I had been older I would have been
dealing with integrity verses despair.
[7]
Continual effort of self-actualization.
[8] Living
Hell: This is an example of Sigmund Freud’s description of Moral Anxiety. and
[9] Sigmund
Freud’s description of denial. (Boeree, 2006)
[10]
Reactance Formation: According to Sigmund Freud, this is when someone in
authority makes a prediction and the person fights to separate that prediction
from him or her selves. They react in the exact opposite manner than expected.
Write About A Recent Moral Dilemma
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
2:49 a.m.
This
question seems to be geared toward a person who is employed outside the home. I
personally have not been this person in over five years therefore I had to
chose weather to create a scenario or to write about a moral dilemma that I
felt would compare. I prefer to use an honest approach and write about a real
topic. The topic I chose is my daughter Starla. The reason why I chose this
topic is because it relates to social work topics such as teen pregnancy, rape
of a minor, & underage marriage along w/ parenting issues. (I’ll keep it as
short as possible)
As a mother
of four you can imagine I’vie had my share of situations. However, the largest
dilemma I ever faced was that which included my eldest daughter Starla. It all
started back in 2005 when I lived in Des Moines , Washington . I was attending
High line Community College for my AA in Psychology. My kids were attending
school. Well all except Starla who I was attempting to home school. You see
Star was always a head strong child. We had already faced many of the teen
issues such as overdose, running away, and bad friendships but the worst was
yet to come. To make a long story short, my daughter then 15 years old became
pregnant by her then 23 year old boyfriend. Yes you heard me right 23 yr old
boyfriend. Now I didn’t know at first. She went to a crisis center, got the
tests done, received prenatal care for several weeks and then I got a phone
call from several friends who she had told. After a huge fight, the police and
a lot of drama, I got the truth. This is where the moral dilemma began.
Mom had a
choice. Actually a few choices. Mom could press charges or not. Mom could let
them get married, or not. Mom could do etc. I sought help from several people.
My greatest support came from instructors who I had grown to trust. Of course
the detective was there to offer advice as well. But over all it was my choice.
So what did I do? Well I’ll tell you. I had a nervous break down.
I left
school, packed everything I owned, boarded 4 kids and 2 cats on a plane and
moved 3000 miles away from her boyfriend. I DID NOT press charges. I truly felt
that Star had allowed and chose her destiny and because of that the young man
did not deserve prison. I also was looking out for my grandchild who would have
to grow up not only without a father but knowing his/her father was in prison
for raping his/her mother when his/her mother had wanted exactly what she got.
So yes… it was a difficult thing to do… However I didn’t leave the two of them
without a reunification plan. (I may not have liked the situation but I wanted
to be fair)
I told her.
If you go w/ me. Return to school. Look for work. Prepare for this baby. Quit
acting like a thug. AND he takes care of his business, comes after you, gets a
job and shows he can take care of you and the baby. I will sign your marriage
license after your 16th birthday. IF you run from me. I WILL press charges for
that baby’s sake. (Maybe not the most ethical but I had to do something)
So anyway…
That’s what I did and well….
She not only
went back to school. She got her GED in 3 months. She had that baby (May 1,
2006) and was totally prepared for it. He may not have for filled his but they
forced me to sign the marriage license (for the over all good of my other 3
kids not my own will) and they are now living back in Seattle where they just
had baby number two on may 11, 2007. I guess things are working out for them.
Im an eclectic
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
2:53 a.m.
1.2 The
Powerpoint and chapter reading discusses six ethical moral theories. Which
theory do you think you follow. Explain why.
By nature I
am an eclectic being. I believe that the only way to learn about a subject is
to study all aspects of the topic and after which I pick up small details from
each area. So it came as no surprise once reading “Cooper” that I could not
chose one of the six theories to relate to. If anything, I found that I relate
to bits and pieces of each theory. Let me see if I can explain…
As a Pagan,
my primary moral values lay in equality (for both animals and humans alike).
This means that I truly attempt to treat everyone and everything the same. I
believe in self sacrifice and submitting to what’s in the best interest of
everyone involved. (For instance my theory of inmate rehabilitation) This part
of my personality places me in the “Utilitarianism” theory category.
It’s my
opinion that it’s this type of behavior that actually separates us from the
animals and shows us that nature and humans are different. Which makes “Kantain
Duty Ethics” appeal to me. It says animals act for them selves and humans are
capable of acting out of duty. It also says that rewards and punishments aren’t
always the key to such actions that it’s purpose lays much deeper. It suggests
that people don’t want to feel used but that they want to be helped to reach
their goals in life and that some simply need more help than others.
Of course,
education has also taught me to look at things from a much deeper reality and
with that comes integrity which means honesty. This allows The “Social
Contract” theory to slip in with it’s no group is truly equal. We obviously
live in a multicultural world where people are judged on norms that change like
we change clothes, food and all other aspects of our world. It makes it hard on
the whole ethic thing especially when humans are self centered aby nature and
ultimately seek pleasure for thy self which means that even I have a small part
of the “Ethical Egoism” theory in me. For example, There are times when I
buckle under pressure and don’t always follow what I believe to be right such
as speaking up against someone in power.
This brings
me to the final theory the “Discourse Ethics” theory. I believe everyone should
have a right to be heard so long as they are “asserting real beliefs” and
backing up their arguments w/ evidence. That in it’s self is one of my major
reasons for doing what I am w/ my education. I don’t feel our society allows
people to be heard or that it values those who try to be heard.
Castration program might be expanded
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
2:54 a.m.
2.1(b)
Castration program might be expanded
(I truely
had a difficult time finding an article that wasn't war related. So hopefully
this one works. If not let me know and I'll try again)
According to
the article I found on the Statesman Journel website, the Oregon Department of
Corrections financial plan for 07-09 includes a $150,000 plan to start a 3
county program to give Depo-Provera injections to high-risk male sex offenders
who are on parole. At this time a total of 105 male sex offenders are mandated
to take Depo-Provera as a condition of their release. This creates a wide
discrepancy since only 20 offenders are actually taking the drug. From what I
read in the article many obstacles have created challenges. The challenges
include the cost of treatment but more so include some very ethical related
issues.
According to
www.nationalhumanservices.org , professionals hold certain responsibilities.
For starters, they are responsible for respecting the integrity and welfare of
their clients. (NOSHE, Statement 2) plan due to the physical risks that the
male offenders face. Obviously, subjecting an individual to possible castration
is severe enough but when you add in such things as body alterations (breast
development/ weight gain), pain (leg cramps/head aches), illness
(fatigue/nausea) or more serious issues like blood clots you unleash a whole
new meaning to the term treatment. The term would be “cruelty!”
I suppose
this is why the counties are having trouble finding professionals to assist in
their programs. I mean ethically if a expert upheld their responsibilities to
their profession, then they would be obligated to not only offer services
within their area of expertise but also “promote cooperation among related
disciplines (e.g., psychology, counseling, social work, nursing, family and
consumer sciences, medicine, and education) to foster professional growth and
interests within the various fields.” (NOSHE, Statement 29) Thus in this case
meaning stick together for the cause, in a sort of medical/psychological
boycott of said program. Basically by standing together they could very well
place an end to the violations that are occurring.
Resources
Gustafson,
Alan. (2007). Castration program might be expanded.
Retrieved on
May, 29 2007 From Statesman Journal Website:
http://www.statesmanjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070527/NEWS/705270306
NOSHE.
(1996). Ethical Standards of Human Service Professionals.
Retrieved on
May 26, 2007 From The National Human Service Website:
http://www.nationalhumanservices.org
Eclectic Again
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
2:55 a.m.
Eclectic
Again
2.2 If you
had to choose one of the theories within the "doing" or
"being" groups, which theory do you relate to the most? Why?
Here we go
again and just like before I’m an eclectic individual. However for the most
part I wonder if I don’t actually sway heavier as a caring theorist because I
do attempt to treat everyone as if they were family or friends. I try to treat
people with the same respect as I would my own people. I believe that a
therapist can not truly help their client without establishing a personal one
on one relationship which means allowing the client to get to know you beyond
the office at least a little bit. (It was a counselor such as this that helped
me realize that my goals weren’t out of reach).
But of
course other theories break in as well… such as…
Consequentialists:
good/harm (now & later) for all involved. Meaning, I feel I have to
concider what decisions I make today and how they will affect those people
tomorrow.
Rights
Theorists: Everyone deserves integrity, privacy, equality, treatment, &
etc. Which means I believe people deserve to be equal. Sometimes that means
moving or rescheduling and being lenient or accommodating.
A Duty
Theorist: Doing the right thing regardless of the consequences. (Going against
the grain) This to me means standing up against those in power despite what may
happen. It could mean losing one day losing my job to defend a clients position
Telemarketing is "Situational
Control"
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
2:57 a.m.
2.1 Describe
a time when you felt you were in a "situational control". Describe
how you not appear to be acting in a free manner.
According to
the powerpoint presentations, this means that you have been placed in a
situation where you are not allowed to do what you believe to be ethically
right. So I’m going to reflect back about ten years to a time when I worked for
Market U.S.A, the third largest telemarketing agency of 1998.
Back then I
had just left my job as a manager of Donato’s Pizza and became a telemarketer.
I had learned the difference between a verbatim (read only what was written)
script and a flex (make your own) script. Now, I’ve always been big about only
selling what I believed in but this place gave that a new meaning. They had
different campaigns. With each campaign came different scripts and obviously I
was suppose to do as I was told. At first I did this with no problem and I was
good. It was nothing for me to triple or even quadruple the bonus every day.
But then one day they placed me on a new campaign.
I recall
that the campaign was offering the customer some type of discount card but it
was plainly a rip off. As I read it over, I just couldn’t find one single thing
that I thought was bentifitial and because of that I simply couldn’t become
excited about it. By the end of the day I was upset not only because I hadn’t
bonused but because I felt I had done something wrong.
Long story
short, I went to my supervisor and explained my dilemma. He in return changed
my campaign. Of course later I realized that this is what made them the leading
company because they cared that much. Other companies I attempted to work for
did not care such as when I worked for 5 Star Security.
5 Star would
call people from the little papers they dropped into the boxes at malls to win
cars and tell them they won 3rd prize. I just could not lie like that. And yes,
I would tell EVERYONE that just about everyone who filled out one of those
papers got that security system…. But then I’m not just any telemarketer… I
guess that’s why I’m here and not there any more… *giggles*
(You've got
to stand for something or you'll fall for anything)
multicultural state
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
3:02 a.m.
"Give
an example of when you experienced a "multicultural state". How did
that state effect your relationship with that individual?"
A couple
years ago while attending community college, I had a chance to make friends
with a young lady from Iraq. Sadly, I have a very poor memory when it comes to
names and since my hard drive went down, I no longer have the paper I wrote
about her, but what I can do it tell you about my experience from memory and
what I learned from my time in the class room w/ her.
Obviously
war has its advantages and disadvantages. In this lady's case it meant that she
and her family was relocated to America. Some of her family chose to continue
their traditional customs while others like her cousin chose to take on more
American style living. Of course I being who I am (The gothic, wild child) am
far from their Muslim style. Never the less she and I began to talk and we
became friends.
Now
obviously we had huge differences.
I was PAGAN
she MUSLIM. I'm a democrat and she isn't use to a democracy at all. I am very
sexual in my style dress where she wears a head dress and long sleeves (stylish
but still covered). I'm not always careful w/ my choice of words (cursing) she
was always well mannered. OH... I was a mom of 4 and she was in her 20's and a
virgin! (Also for the record I am antiwar and believe Iraq should be defending
themselves)
so.... how
did we deal w/ this... well we didn't debate things. We found things that were
common ground. Or if it were informational topics that were different well we
took it as differences , may asked questions but left it as that. We didn't let
those things get in the way. But then we are talking about a classroom
friendship not a living arrangement. I only knew her about 6 months. I wish I
could have known her longer
My favorite example of ethnocentrism
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
3:04 a.m.
The below is
a clip from my prison essay that can be found at
http://www.true-emotions.org/Prison/ Throughout this article there are several
areas that I feel are ethnocentric in one way or another. However, I have
outlined my all time favorite as it is probably the most ethnocentric statement
I have ever heard!
85.71% of
the 100 students and faculty surveyed at Highline Community College believed
that offenders should receive human treatment, 61.11% believed that offenders
should be permitted to utilize weight-training devices, and 53.66% believed
that offenders should be allowed the privilege of television. Since the
participants of the survey were assumed to be educated individuals, the results
from this portion of the survey were the most alarming of all (Montgomery).
46.34% of
the students who were asked if television should be available along with 21.88%
of those asked if offenders should be permitted to use weights answered no.
They presume that because an offender has committed an illegal act they should
not receive privileges (Montgomery). They felt that the Government over spends
its budget and should spend the money on more beneficial purposes. They felt
that offenders should be forced to spend their time thinking about the issues
that brought them to prison to begin with instead of “Beefing Up”. One
sarcastic individual even went on record saying, they would approve of weights
only because “[the offender] will look better on the death table.” Maybe these
individuals would change their mind if they were forced to lose everything they
hold dear, and do their time without an opportunity to release the frustration
and anxiety associated with this loss.
It’s easy to
view extra curricular activities as amenities. However, in many instances,
amenities are helpful during the rehabilitation process. It is a “Carrot verses
the Stick” situation. If an offender follows the rules set forth then they
receive certain privileges (carrot). If the offender fails to adhere to said
rules, then they lose privileges (stick). Usually creating a win-win situation.
In 1996,
eight hundred prison staff was surveyed by Sam Houston University. Less than
25% of those surveyed felt that amenities should be eliminated from the
offenders’ daily life. The majority of the staff felt that extra curricular
activities have several purposes. They said that allowing an offender to
release built up tension reduces boredom, decreases negative attitudes, and
reduces anxiety thus helping the officers in charge manage the offenders’
actions. Over all this provides positive interaction between offenders and
staff members (Sifakis 36).
The fact is,
these low cost amenities are financed through inmate funds (Sifakis 280).
Inmates must pay $3.00 for cable weather they utilize the service or not. The
privilege of weight training costs the offender $5.00 a month (Doc Guide 56),
and only those inmates that “earn” this activity may participate (Doc 56). For
most offenders this is the only free time activity they have to fulfill their
time. (Anonymous #3) Since this information is not common public knowledge, it
is probably the number one contributing factor leading to public misconception.
As for offenders “Beefing Up”, when was the last you heard of anyone being
attacked by a weight lifting x-con? Over all, “the absence of normal human
interactions, and reasonable mental stimulus and almost anything that makes
life bearable is emotionally, physically and psychologically destructive.”
(Herman)
Ethical Situations #1
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
3:17 a.m.
Review the
Ethical Situations document. Choose three issues in the document. Use the NOSHE
standards or standards specific to your interest area. Identify which standards
would address the following situations and what action you might take.
1. Your co worker refuses to work with a client who is a cross dresser.
When
representing a counseling firm or corporation one should use non-discriminatory
methods. If an individual approaches a client with a preconceived set of values
that are overwhelmingly different from that of the client then it could cause
more harm than good and therefore it should be taken into consideration. The
APA Code of Ethics has set certain standards that are in place in order to
shield not only the client but the therapist from such situations. For starters
let me name those standards then I will explain how they connect.
1.06
Personal Problems and Conflicts
(a)
Psychologists refrain from initiating an activity when they know or should know
that there is a substantial likelihood that their personal problems will
prevent them from performing their work related activities in a competent
manner.
(b) When
psychologists become aware of personal problems that may interfere with their
performing work related duties adequately, they take appropriate measures, such
as obtaining professional consultation or assistance, and determine whether
they should limit, suspend, or terminate their work-related duties.
According to
2.06 my co-worker has obviously recognized a personal conflict. However, simply
refusing to work with the client seems to be against the ethic code. With this
in mind, I would suggest that my co-worker take the matter to a supervisor and
discuss the issue. By doing this they would be acting in a professional manner
and possibly finding a solution to the issue at hand. The fact is, there is a
huge rise in the Gay, Lesbian, Cross dressing, Bisexual Community and
psychologists need to become familiar with this culture and learn to adjust to
the situations that arise. At the very least, Counseling centers need to have
faculty available that are familiar to work with these clients who can and will
provide expert care.
Ethical Events
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
3:22 a.m.
2. The human
service worker is working with a family that has many overwhelming issues due
to their culture and belief system.
It was my
intention to use the APA Code of Ethics. However due to the fact that I was
unable to find standards written explicitly for this type of situation I have
resorted back to the NOSHE standards where I knew I would find something
related to cultural diversity.
Below you
will find the statements that I feel should be considered while working with
the culturally diverse family. After reading these statements you will find how
I believe they link to the situation.
STATEMENT 4
If it is suspected that danger or harm may occur to the client or to others as
a result of a client's behavior, the human service professional acts in an
appropriate and professional manner to protect the safety of those individuals.
This may involve seeking consultation, supervision, and/or breaking the
confidentiality of the relationship.
STATEMENT 8
The client's right to self-determination is protected by human service
professionals. They recognize the client's right to receive or refuse services.
STATEMENT 11
Human service professionals keep informed about current social issues as they
affect the client and the community. They share that information with clients,
groups and community as part of their work.
STATEMENT 12
Human service professionals understand the complex interaction between
individuals, their families, the communities in which they live, and society.
STATEMENT 17
Human service professionals provide services without discrimination or
preference based on age, ethnicity, culture, race, disability, gender,
religion, sexual orientation or socioeconomic status.
STATEMENT 18
Human service professionals are knowledgeable about the cultures and
communities within which they practice. They are aware of multiculturalism in
society and its impact on the community as well as individuals within the
community. They respect individuals and groups, their cultures and beliefs.
STATEMENT 19
Human service professionals are aware of their own cultural backgrounds,
beliefs, and values, recognizing the potential for impact on their
relationships with others.
STATEMENT 20
Human service professionals are aware of sociopolitical issues that
differentially affect clients from diverse backgrounds.
STATEMENT 21
Human service professionals seek the training, experience, education and
supervision necessary to ensure their effectiveness in working with culturally
diverse client populations.
The above
scenario leaves the imagination completely open to interpretation. With this in
mind, I have gathered every statement I felt could be considered useful while
working with a diverse family. I mean let’s face it, there are so many things
that a family can bring on them selves that we could be here for days
discussing the variations. So, for time’s sake I’m going to chose a couple and
discuss them while referring to the list above.
The 1st
cultural difference that comes to mind when I think of this question is income
based problems which cause homelessness.
While living
in the state of Washington , I met many emigrates from Mexico . Many of these
families had husbands who didn’t allow their wives to work. They dominated the
family and were strict disciplinarians. Matter a fact I witnessed one Father
literally beat his son with a belt from all angles and not care where he hit
the child. Their motel room was covered in garbage and when the police arrived
they did nothing to the couple. I was in tears and disgusted. I could not
understand why the man was allowed to get away with such abusive behavior. This
would be the type of situation that the scenario represents.
Obviously
Mexico is a country where the husband more or less owns his family and
therefore is able to do what he wishes. He nor his family understood why the
police was called and that would make it hard for intervention to work. However
the fact that the family is currently residing in the United States makes it a
social workers job to intervene and there fore he/she must rely on the NOSHE
code to guide their actions.
IF I were
the social worker of such a case, I would do as statement 19, 20 and 21 say. I
would 1st realize where I stood on the issues that surrounded the family. Then
I would educate myself on their culture. After that I would ask for guidance
from a supervisor on how to handle this delicate situation. However In the mean
time I do believe that since the child was being severely beaten (according to
American Standards) it would be in the child’s best interest to remove the
children until the husband could receive counseling that would help him to
adjust to the American laws. Of course I also realize that there is a good
possibility that once the child is returned that the family will return to
their native country. This is their prerogative and is sadly out of our
control.
Now, let’s
look at other aspects of the situation; the controlling husband aspect. Yes, he
is controlling and will probably refuse any type of help offered. Being
controlling isn’t a crime in and of it’s self. From what I read, in Statement 8
he has the right to refuse help. This of course is suggesting that he has not
harmed anyone in anyway. However, one he crosses the boundary and engages in
harmful acts it no longer is his choice. It becomes the responsibility of the
worker, as stated in statement 4, to report such behavior to the authorities
and their job to step in.
Over all,
the whole outlook seems to be to try to understand my own views and relate them
to the client. The greatest good will come if I can separate my own value
system and place my judgment in the greater good based on the code of ethics
provided. If those ethics are not clear or if I am in doubt I am to ask for
help from a superior and receive the education I need to successfully assist
the client to the best of my ability. This will ultimately provide not only a
better relationship between the client and the therapist but a safe atmosphere
for those involved.
You're the boss of a social worker who
misrepresents himself
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
3:23 a.m.
1. You
supervise an intake worker for a DSHS office. He misrepresents himself as a
social worker at a local nursing home to advocate for his friend he thinks is
not getting proper care.
I understand
this dilemma from several different points of view and because of this I am
going to first lay out several questions. I believe these questions would have
a significant effect on how I as a supervisor would handle this matter if I
were the supervisor in charge.
Did this
matter happen while this person was on the clock working for our agency?
Did this person use our agency’s I.D. badge or paper work in order to gain
information about or services for his/her friend?
If the answers to the above questions is no, then it is my opinion that the
person acted on personal time and although their actions were less than honest
the situation had nothing to do with corporate policy there fore is unsuitable
for punishment.
However, if
the above questions result in a yes answer then the tables are turned and the
situation becomes punishable. At this time, I would have to evaluate the
employee’s records. How long has this employee been with the company? How does
this employee normally handle ethical situations? How honest was this person
when asked about the situation? Along with, how likely is the individual to do
this again?
The reason
for this is because this employee just broke about every NOSHE ethic code
concerning a professional's responsibility to the practice, and employer that
there is.... SO...
With all
this in consideration, If the person had a relatively clean record I would
probably write the person up (1st and only), and allow them to keep their job
as long as they formally gave the nursing home a written apology, accepting
responsibility for their actions. If they had a past record of ethical issues I
would have to terminate employment and would report the individual to the
Ethics committee.
Losing Isaiah; The Missing Link
Friday, Jul. 13,
2007
3:40 a.m.
By:Jesilyn
Score:
15/15 points… Dr. I. City University
Abstract
For the
average spectator, the movie Losing Isaiah can be a thought provoking film.
However, the majority of an individual’s beliefs and emotions will probably be
based on their first impression and a preconceived set of beliefs and values
thus swaying only slightly if any from the original frame of mind, instead of
allowing the events that proceed as the movie continues to direct their final
opinions. This to me is a natural action but has never been my style therefore
if that is the expectation; it’s wrong. I personally chose Losing Isaiah
because I believe it happens to be one of the most socially debatable movies of
all time. I agree To me, within this single film, one is given a glimpse of
many topics that could easily spark a bon fire to light the path of critical thinking.
Not to mention, it provides a future psychologist, such as me, practice in with
emotion control, and evaluation skills without working with actual cliental.
Therefore, this paper will provide a clear, open minded, bias-free perspective
that will not only present an overview of Losing Isaiah, but will also offer
both sides view of several social issues that I noticed as I observed this
controversial story.
First
Impressions
The story
line begins in a filthy dirty, paint peeling, decrepitated crack house where
strung out Khaila attempts to breastfeed her screaming, three day old, infant
son Isaiah. As his wails of hunger grow louder her overwhelming desire for a
crack-cocaine fix kicks in. Then, with out a visible emotional support system,
she leaves the house, into the night air; her breath escapes her lips like
cigarette smoke, thick smoke thick enough to choke on. As she reaches what
seems to be a deserted ally, she gently places Isaiah, who is wrapped in a
threadbare blanket and still screaming, in a card board box, covers him with
the lid, and tells him she will soon return. These words are soon forgotten and
the following morning her precious baby is literally snatched from the claws of
death when two garbage-men find Isaiah mere seconds before the steal blades
shred both he and the box he laid in. He is then carried to the local hospital.
As for
Khaila, she is stuck in a drug induced euphoric state of mind until her breasts
ache from lack of nursing. But by then it’s simply too late. She races to the
dumpster. She frantically rummages through the boxes until a homeless man
screams something about police, drama, dead babies, and then makes a demand for
her to leave his alley. After which, she again returns to the world of
narcotics. She enters a convenient store and sporadically begins to collect
eatable and alcoholic items; placing them in her jacket. When confronted she
springs into an uncontrollable psychotic episode, singing lyrics from a song
and is totally unresponsive to the officer’s voice. She is then arrested and
convicted. From there, the following scene directly states that she elected an
alternative rehabilitation program over incarceration.
Let’s
critique this shall we? The visible facts are that Khaila is a young lady who
is homeless, drug dependant, and has a minor child. She left her defenseless
newborn son to fend for himself in a cardboard box in an alley, in the cold,
with no supervision; in order to visit a drug dealer, and then she ultimately
became so inebriated that her ability to return to him became impossible.
Because of this, the majority of viewers probably feel shocked, irritated,
resentful, or grief stricken in one way or another. I too found myself feeling
these emotions. However, I was able to quickly barricade these emotions and
keep them from becoming barriers to my observation. You see the movie, although
intense in nature, had yet to tell me anything about Khaila’s past, such as
where she came from, weather she was educated, or how she became the way she
is. Any conclusions made at this point would be completely based upon a
preconceived set of beliefs and values that may or may not even be relevant to
this particular case what so ever.
Basically, I
had to consciously decided weather to both judge Khaila harshly and elect to
dismiss any chance of rehabilitation or seek to understand the cause of her
actions and vote that they help her through her difficulties. It was at this
point; I began to feel a type of compassion for this woman. Don’t get me wrong,
I was distraught. But, my mind questioned the existence of family, friendships,
and education. It questioned the validity of our system as a whole. The system
I know should have not only detected the drug abuse issues prior to Isaiah’s
birth, but also been able to protect him from the life style in which he was
released to. I believe that in it’s self made me even more emotional than the
events taken place before my eyes. This of course brings us to the next social
issues; the rehabilitation process of Khaila and then the futures for her and
son Isaiah.
Rehabilitation
As we return
to the film, Khaila has successfully completed the in treatment program, she
rented a room with another woman, (Which will later be noted as the first room
she has ever had to herself) and her counselor Gussie has began teaching her to
read. Gussie has asked Khaila about her studies and her attitude has become
less that pleasant. Gussie mirrors her mannerisms and after brief but blunt
confrontation Khaila brake into tears forcing Gussie to explore the reason’s
why. What she finds is a cold hard truth, three years prior, Khaila had thrown
her baby away and now believes him to be dead.
The story
breaks into other scenes, and then returns to another meeting between the two
women. Gussie informs Khaila that her son is not only alive, but has been
legally adopted by a Caucasian family and is now living in the Saint Paul area.
This sparks many emotions within Khaila; above all pain. She begs Gussie to see
her son. Gussie assures her that she must work the system in order to get what
she wants without losing what she has gained. This is not good enough her. She
needs more and she needs it now.
Khaila soon
finds herself in the mist of Gussies office. She secretly sneaks a peek into
the filing cabinet at her own records. There in black and white is exactly what
she craves; Isaiah’s address. Without hesitation she takes the child she
babysat for and goes to Saint Paul where she not only catches a glimpse of
Isaiah playing at the local park, but speaks to him and holds him as well. This
moment of happiness is cut short when “responsibility” cries out from the lungs
of the child she is caring for. She sits Isaiah down, and walks away.
Alright, let
us take another break, only this time reflect on the process of Khaila’s
rehabilitation and the complexity of her situation. I know fro m experience,
that many individuals would be infuriated and more than ready by now to cast
Khaila into the nearest prison totally disregarding her need for rehabilitating
services. But this is where I feel our society does the most harm. Yes, Khaila
probably does deserve to be punished. But frankly, incarceration without
rehabilitation is irresponsible and in my opinion should be considered cruel
and unusual punishment. You see, contrary to what many people think about
addictive/criminal behaviors, I believe in a world of second chances and I
found myself wondering how I will react if I am ever faced with a situation
such as that which Gussie has been placed. What If a client of mine told me a
about a horrible deed like this? How could I not judge him or her and if I did
how would I keep from reacting? Clearly I’d have to report such a thing, so who
would I report it to? Not to mention, I know I would have a moral obligation to
assist him or her as well. However, I’d never go and cross the ethical
boundaries the way that Gussie did. To me, Gussie obtained and distributed a
private adoption record which was neither the most ethical, legal, or safe
approach to the dilemma. Legally, adoption records are suppose to be sealed
documents until a child reaches the age of majority, even then the unsealing of
them can still lead to a questionable verdict. Speaking of verdicts, let’s go
back to the movie because the most intense part has begun.
Legal
Advice
In this
section, Gussie has referred Khaila to Urban Legal Services. She is running
late and the attorney is less than impressed. He explains to her that it is his
understanding that she wishes to reinstate her parental rights. When she claims
that she never gave them up, he explains that by abandoning her son and never
making an effort to find him, she had basically given up her rights. He then
asks if she had received letters of intent to adopt to which she replied no.
After which, he reluctantly accepts the case due to social relation and issues
a letter of Khaila’s intent to fight Isaiah’s adoption.
When the
adoptive mother Margaret receives this letter she franticly phones her husband
Charles. Charles assures her that everything will be ok and when he returns
they visit an attorney where they discuss the events that had happen up until
this point. Basically, everything had been handled by the book. Margaret had
personally filed all the appropriate paperwork. She published newspaper articles,
completed computerized prison searches and welfare system checks. She even used
personal family funds to hire a private investigator to look for Isaiah’s
biological parents, but the search came up empty handed. It seemed illogical to
them that Khaila should not be given any rights. Seems hopeless….To them, this
woman had thrown her baby away, if anything she deserved to be arrested. The
attorney told them that courts could vacate the adoption if it deemed necessary
and that the birth mother had the right to be heard. Over all she says that you
can raise a child with the best of intentions, but the world isn’t color blind.
Children should be with their parents.
Hold up!
It is time for another evaluation. Look at the difference in the way the two
families handle this dilemma. Khaila has failed to report to her appointment on
time. Her appearance is less than appealing and her answers cause her own
attorney to question her genuine ability to raise her son. On the other hand,
Margaret and Charles have been more than adequate parents, have followed the
rules, and done everything they can to make themselves out to be fit for the
task. Their only down fall seems to be their race. Does race really make that
much of a difference? What about criminal charges? Will Khaila face criminal
charges for what she did to Isaiah? It certainly makes me wonder. I guess we
shall see.
The
Justice System
Khaila
arrives at court. She is clean, professionally dressed, and yet intimidation
and fear flood profusely through her chocolate brown eyes. Her testimony
reveals many things. Not only does it reflect her dark past of drug abuse,
promiscuity, homelessness and the horrible truth about Isaiah. It also shows a
lighter, more humane side of her. This side reflects the long road of recovery
that she has traveled and the progress she has made. It is this side of Khaila
that tells of her higher power and how it is because of him that she is there
at court in hopes to get a second chance to make things up to Isaiah. It is
this side of her that clings to her support system.
When
Margaret and Charles take the stand, the questions become prominently race
related. Khaila’s attorney asks them questions like: Who combs Isaiah’s hair?
Does Isaiah plays with black dolls? Does Isaiah come in contact with African
American people? Matter a fact, the only time he really sways from this line of
questioning is when he asks Charles about an affair, which Charles reluctantly
does admits to. (Even if it was only an one time event.)
This
legal debate continues as Dr. Goldfind testifies that African American children
are often placed with Caucasian families but that this is a temporary measure
and when “racially suitable” families are found, the child is removed and
relocated. This however can take years but she considers it to be in the best
long term interest of a child. She then recommends that Isaiah be returned to
his birth mother.
Over all,
by the end of the trial, the judge rules in favor of the birth mother. The
adoptive parents are ordered to return Isaiah and the effects of this decision
are expected to be limited because he is young. Basically the judge suspects
that as long as the adults behave appropriately Isaiah will simply transition
with ease.
Once
home, Margaret and Charles prepare Isaiah to leave. A caseworker ends up
forcefully removing Isaiah from Margaret’s arms as his basic needs fall upon
her deaf ears. He in return screams until his exhausted body collapses in the
car seat on the way to Khaila’s house. When his little eyes finally do open, he
is beside a stranger in a new place. She tries to console him but his fear is
too great. The next day he gives her the same catatonic response. And when she
takes him to his new school, he limply allows himself to be pulled, dragging
himself like a rag doll not in step and not resistant. Several more issues
occur such as an outburst at a restaurant and Isaiah hiding in the shower
before Khaila realizes she must do something. In desperation she calls
Margaret.
Margaret
doesn’t hesitate, and instantly catches a cab and meets Khaila at Isaiah’s
school. When she arrives, Khaila begins to tell her how she had wanted Isaiah
so bad that she wasn’t thinking. She said she wanted him to remain in the same
school with the children he is with but that she wanted Margaret to go in and
tell him not to be scared anymore. She said some people will think she is crazy
but that she didn’t care because she was doing this because she loved Isaiah
and Margaret told her that she loved him too. After a short embrace Khaila
leads Margaret into the classroom where little Isaiah runs happily screaming,
“MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!” As the movie ends, Margaret, Khaila and Isaiah sit playing
with assorted blocks leaving the viewer with any number of unanswered
questions. Nice job on this…the combination between movie review and
reflections is perfect.
By
analyzing the above court proceedings, we discover that facts are often a
matter of prospective and are up to a person to prove legitimate. We also see
that on occasion feelings are also considered facts and can be admissible in a
court of law; such as Dr. Goldfind’s personal opinion about returning Isaiah to
Khaila. I say this because no where in her testimony does she ever speak about
interviewing any of the parties involved; thus making her recommendation seem
emotion based instead of observation based. However, just as feelings can be
proven factual, they are also subject to change; for instance when Khaila
decides to send Isaiah back to live with Margaret and Charles. Yes, she felt she
was doing the right thing when she first fought for him, but after a few weeks
she realized that she had made a few mistakes along the way. That doesn’t take
a rocket scientist to understand. For that matter, when one dissects the
transcripts (which we definitely don’t have time to do), it’s obvious that the
entire case above was saturated by racism and ethnocentric values and the
mission submersed by perverted color coding and cultural sigma. This brings us
to our conclusion.
The
Conclusion
Individual
perspectives are enhanced by a person’s own unique set of beliefs and values.
They are also influenced by many emotional, mental, and physical aspects that
are brought on by environmental factors. Such details become superior during
the observation process and can sway the individual’s opinion even if they have
taken the time to practice their critical thinking skills. Sometimes however an
individual becomes capable of viewing both sides of the spectrum and that
allows them to embrace a much deeper understanding from a multiple point of
view.
While
watching this movie, I feel I consciously attempted to do just that, which is
why during my review I purposely avoided writing much about Isaiah himself. You
see, I noticed that this child seemed to be a pawn used in a racial debate;
much like I was used by my own grandmother to destroy my parents. Like my own
situation, not only did the system support this type of escapade, but it
overlooked many important details in the process.
The first
set of details, which I consider to be the most important, concerns the actual
wellbeing of Isaiah. This little boy was abandoned by his biological mother and
against all odds survived. Fortunately for him, he was adopted by a wonderful
loving family where he was not only adored, but received unconditional love.
This child was happy, healthy, and despite what Khaila’s attorney might want
you to believe in need of nothing. However, due to unethical actions from
Khaila’s social worker, his whole world was flipped upside down and his
happiness distorted. No one ever asked his opinion. No one even attempted to
send him to therapy. For that matter, he wasn’t even permitted a gradual
introduction period that would allow him to get acquainted not only with his
future surrounding but with the woman he would be forced to call Mommy. There’s
no wonder he couldn’t adjust. Oh, and what about parenting classes? Didn’t
Isaiah deserve safety? The courts never once made that mandatory. I don’t know
about other spectators but these issues really upset me. I couldn’t help but
think about these things. I mean I totally understand both women’s desires to
hold on to such a precious child but at the same time, Isaiah’s over all
emotional, physical, and psychological security should have been every one’s
(especially the officials) top priority and it’s my opinion that it wasn’t. The
system meant to protect children and that system continuously let him down;
first before birth (by not dealing with Khaila’s drug problem), then after
birth (when she threw him away), and finally three years later (When they
handed him back to her without stipulations).
The
second set of details mentioned above consists of criminal conduct, and the
lack of the Judicial System’s willingness to uphold the law. Obviously, child neglect
and abandonment to such an extreme would be considered punishable. So why
didn’t the authorities attempt to hold Khaila responsible for her actions?
Frankly, they knew who Isaiah belonged to based on foot prints taken at birth.
Khaila was arrested on shoplifting charges, shortly after therefore she would
have been registered in the local court system. Thus meaning that locating her
would have been as easy a pressing a few buttons, or making a few phone calls.
Sheen laziness if you ask me. Now before you ask, YES, I do believe in
rehabilitation but I also believe in justice and in this case justice was never
served.
Along
with Khaila’s offense, I’m fairly sure that Gussie violated a privacy law of
some type when she made private adoption information available to Khaila. At
the very least, she should have been held responsible for her actions at an
employment level. I don’t mean to sound pretentious or judgmental but I really
feel that she could have placed Isaiah in danger and I’m sorry but that kind of
behavior can not be overlooked.
So, what
does all this mean? To you, it could mean a lot of things or it could mean
nothing at all. But, to me it means that I’m one step closer to my goal; to
become a criminal psychologist. And that means that I’m still human because I
can still look at person as a person even when they have committed a crime. I
can still step outside of the situation and try to evaluate things from both
views. But above all, I haven’t lost my nerve to question what I feel is false,
unreasonable, or improper. That is the of myself that I pray I will never give
up, because if I do than I can’t fight for those that really need my help the
most.
References
Gyllenhaal,
Stephen. (Director). (1995). Losing Isaiah [Motion picture].
(Available from Paramount Pictures, 5555 Melrose Avenue, Hollywood, California
90038)
I hate my instructor!
Friday, Jul. 20,
2007
2:05 a.m.
I'm about
pissed today...
I sent a letter to my advisor at school because I feel
major conflict w/ an instructor and be damned if she is going to kill my 4.0
GPA... Here is what I sent...
Academic Heartaches
Wednesday, Jul. 25,
2007
11:16 p.m.
Although I
love the process of learning more than anything in this world, I swear at times
I find myself on the brink of giving up. I finally heard back from my adviser
about my complaint concerning my instructor’s behavior and grading system and
let me tell you I am still very upset. Sure on one hand I agree that he is
right that she was placing me on a pedestal but on another I feel as though she
was merely covering her own ass.
This woman
told my adviser and his supervisor that I was this “wonderful student” that I
bring wonderful things to our class discussions but when it came to the grade
she gave me it was because of 1. spelling and grammer and 2 because of lack of
references. Well personally I feel that’s about the biggest bull shit answer
I’ve ever heard as I have always given the answers I’m given and she never
counted me off before. Matter a fact last class I had with her she gave me
perfect scores which to me signals a defect on her part not mine. It says “RED
LIGHT” personal dilemma! Not academic related.
Basically
this whole ordeal has taken the fun and enjoyment right out of my otherwise
love of this class. I use to wake up, jump on-line and spend my entire waking
hours working… now I have to force myself to do it and I feel like it’s a chore
instead of a enjoyable past time like it was before. I don’t know what I should
do.
On one hand
I think I should with draw and take a “W”, retake the class later with someone
else she don’t screw up my 4.0 and on the other hand I don’t want to allow this
woman to force me to back down. I just keep telling myself to breath and think
about things before I jump. All I know is points can make the difference
between getting into the next school and if this woman is doing what it feels
like she is doing then I definitely don’t need this…
Another Day; Another Storm
Saturday, Sept. 29,
2007
10:59 p.m.
With all the
comotion that has been going on in my life, I've been too busy and I have been
neglecting diaryland again. Sorry!
Anyway...
Since the last entry, I finished the course that had me so upset, but not
without more drama. The whole situation ended with the committee telling me
that when the course was over I can grieve the grade. Well... the grades came
in last night and the BITCH gave me a 3.3. Ok, so yes that's a B+ but I'm not
satisfied. I'm going to grieve the dame thing. Hopefully I can get them to
understand my side of the situation.
Of course as
always when it rains it pours and this time the storm swept away the man in my
life. That's right... My engagement has been broken off. Not by me; by him.
While I don't feel like discussing the issue I will say that I'm dealing with
some really emotional shit and that it's hard not to explode.
Over all,
life seems dark again and always I'm left to pick up the peices and carry on.
Personally, I'm getting really tired of doing that which is probably why I've
lost interest in so many things AGAIN.
On a
brighter note I have found a really cool new site called Facebook.com and I've
been kind of hiding out there. I guess you can say it offers a haven against my
own emotions and helps keep the mind busy after all, all the other sites I use
to play on only remind me of what I have lost....
