2011

The Secret Diary Returns

Wednesday, Jul. 13, 2011             11:29 p.m.

Life doesn't always go as we plan. We aren't always liked for who we are. We can't always defend ourselves or our beliefs in a way that helps us cope. For this reason, I find myself back at point "A". I've returned to Diaryland. It is my hope that through journaling, I can regain my sense of self.
IF you have been chosen to view my diary, you are in a sense privileged. It means I trust you, value your opinion, and need you in my life. It means you are very special to me.

Outta Control, Depressed, and Anxious

Friday, Jul. 15, 2011             3:32 a.m.

My day has been full of exertion and Ignorance. First I spend my entire day cleaning after everyone's mess. Then I have to deal with ignorant people who have no idea what they are talking about. I swear the drama never ends... I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm over worked, over stressed, and don't seem to have the ability to change things to benifit myself at all. This really bothers me and it is affecting my health.
What bothers me most is the fact that I'm a psychology major! I find myself wondering WHY I CANT FIX THINGS! I mean I know what things are suppose to be. I know what I'm suppose to do in times like these, but the text books never said what to do when the theories and suggestions FAIL! Surely, I'm not suppose to quit and give up on my life and my dreams just because someone else can't work with me to succeed. It's insane and I'm tired of feeling outta control, depressed and anxious! I need a BREAK!

These are the days of my life...

Friday, Jul. 15, 2011             11:43 p.m.

Today I spent 8 hours cleaning my basement, 45 min cleaning my kitchen, did 10 loads of laundry, spent 45 min- an hour folding said laundry, cooked dinner, and then cleaned the kitchen again. Around 11pm I finally hauled my tired sore ass upstairs for a bath, where I had to clean the bathroom so that I could take said bath. and as if this was not crazy enough, I had to also deal with 5 teens, 5 of my grandchildren and 3 neighbor kids who I hate having over but that Karin keeps insisting on watching....
Needless to say I'm exhausted! But this is the days of my life. The life I often consider walking away from but stay because I'd miss them all way too much.
~Jesilyn~

A really nice day

Sunday, Jul. 17, 2011             12:05 a.m.

It was a beautiful hot sunny day. We took the grand kids to the park for a while, took a nap, relaxed and watched Jamboree in the hills on TV, and then took Aden for ice cream.
The only thing that might have made it better is if I could have been able to breath normally... I guess 8 hrs in the basement cleaning yesterday upset my lungs cause I been coughing like crazy ever since...

A day in the life of Na-Na

Monday, Jul. 18, 2011             12:07 a.m.

What a long ass day. For some wierd reason I woke up a little after 7am. I don't know why, and anyone who knows me can tell you I AM NOT a morning person, so it took a little coaxing to get me out of the bed. That coaxing came in the form of McD's breakfast... Gotta love my keithie. He spoils me every chance he gets.
Anyway, we ate breakfast and came home to embark on another adventure of house cleaning. First we finished the bedroom and folded 3 bags of clean clothes. then I cleaned the stairs, hall, and down stairs basement. I even hand scrubbed the carpet in there and sucked it up with the shampooer. Then we started the livingroom... Yea... that was a mess. It's amazing what 6 kids can do in two days....
Around 1:15, I left to take Staci to Marietta so she could deliver her grand sons (what cuties. they are twin 4 yr olds)... we stopped at Wendy's and ate lunch, and got back just in time to watch Montgomery gentry play their concert on TV.
After the concert, keith did dishes, and I spent quality time with Aden, Trenten, Mal-Mal and Journey. We took tons of pictures.
Then I cooked BBQ chicken, shells and cheese, and peas... we ate, and began getting kids ready for bed.
Over all I guess you could say it was a pretty good/productive day. Unless you count my baseball ankle; which I don't!
~Jesilyn~